There Will Come a Time When You Feel You Are Going Backwards On Your Path

There will come a time when you feel you are going backwards on your path because of the ferocity of your despair, anger, and grief.

YOU ARE CLEARING THE MOST DEEPLY-ROOTED LAYERS OF DENSITY THAT YOU HOLD IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS — FROM ALL YOUR LIFETIMES AND THE COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUS.

Though anything big or small can trigger the heaviest emotions, they will feel larger than life, as if they are drowning you. These are the wounds you thought you already healed, and yet they can feel more painful and all-consuming than ever before.

IF THE FEROCITY OF YOUR EMOTIONS DOES NOT SHOCK YOU, YOU HAVEN’T YET JOURNEYED DEEP ENOUGH.

It is easy to feel at peace when you have carefully cultivated a life of harmony. In many ways, you needed to create a life like this so you can feel safe and in control. But you are ready to go deeper now in your journey, so that you can see for yourself how far your peace can stretch when you are tossed in the depths of your most chaotic darkness.

There, you will find that though you have anchored so much of your light where there is light in your life — you are now being called into the depths of your shadow to anchor the light where all seems dark.

SITTING WITH THE FEROCITY OF YOUR EMOTIONS TAKES COURAGE.

Yesterday, I finally experienced what it really means to sit with your emotions. I have heard it many times: “Sit with your emotions. Try not to resist or judge them. Feel them fully.” And I have tried to do this, by letting myself feel. By being gentle with myself. By knowing that through crying or feeling, I am releasing what needs to be let go.

But often, it can feel like no matter how many times I do this, the pain is still there. It keeps rearing its head, as ferocious as before, every time it is triggered.

So this time, I went deeper. Something had happened, and my heart felt like it was breaking with the weight of absolute self-loathing and despair. It felt bigger than this lifetime; it was the energy of self-loathing itself, accumulated over lifetimes. It was a dark and heavy energy.

There was music playing… a medicine song that reminded me of the jungles of Peru. I closed my eyes and let myself descend into this energy… and there, it revealed itself to me. No longer just an emotion, no longer just an energy, I saw it as an entity personifying self-loathing. Like an ugly creature, dripping in oil and grease, it was clawing at itself in desperation, writhing and scratching, mouth open in a silent scream. It lived in a gruesome realm with no light, alone and trapped as if chained to the floor. This was the darkest personification of self-hate, the root of all self-judgment… the root of feeling separate from your heart, your soul, from Source.

For about ten minutes, I let myself sit in this realm, feeling the full force of this creature’s desperation, feeling myself clawing at my own heart, screaming in silence… knowing it was both mine and not mine. It was mine and the entire collective’s.

And then, I began seeing it with love. For my entire life, I hated feeling the traces of this energy. I was terrified of being swallowed by it, and so I always pushed it away. I fought and resisted it, frustrated with myself for feeling it. But this time, I did something different. I danced with it. I imagined myself swirling around with it, bringing it higher towards the light. I saw it with compassion. I gently welcomed its existence in my being, and through that, it began to shift. It began to feel lighter, the more I allowed it to be.

And this is the true alchemy, the way to integrate the heaviest shadows… not by shunning it, not by wishing it away, but by recognizing it is part of you and accepting it. And through loving it, it can be integrated back into wholeness. Only through loving it can it finally be healed.

Our first ceremony of the year is coming up soon!

BECOMING INFINITE: Activating Your True Essence
Online guided ceremony

A ceremony & activation for remembering, embodying, and expanding into the infinite You.

In this ceremony, we will journey through:
— Meeting yourself as Source and merging with your true essence
— Channeling and embodying your highest self
— Integrating and loving your shadow as a gateway into wholeness
— Clearing doubts, fears, limitation, and separation
— Activations to awaken your soul’s full expression
— Dreaming & anchoring your highest visions and timeline

JOIN LIVE OR WATCH THE RECORDING

DATE: March 28 at 8:30pm PST
Note: this is the next morning for some parts of the world, ie. March 29 at 11:30am AWST

45-min guided ceremony + 45-min Q&A

The recording will be emailed to all after, and it never expires!

SIGN UP

On my profile / DM me or comment “infinite” for the details!

There is a sliding scale for tickets

This is the FIRST CEREMONY since I’ve been away. Since birthing my son, I have experienced multiple deaths and rebirths myself. And so, this ceremony will offer a new frequency of who I am today. I’m so excited to see what we create in this space and will be playing around with new ways of channeling the energetic transmissions.

This is a one-off ceremony. Monthly subscriptions are still paused for those who have previously joined my membership on ashmipath.com — which means you will need to purchase this ceremony independently if you are interested in joining live or getting the recording.

With love,

Ashmi