Why the Shadow (Your heaviest emotions and thought patterns) is Coming Up So Strongly
When you lose yourself to your emotions or thoughts, it hurts more now because you can so easily see the alternative pathway of how you "should" be.
It can feel like you’re bouncing back and forth between the you that feels separate and small, and the you that remembers your connection to the divine.
You are not separate or small, but your human self resists your highest self. Your mind resists your true essence.
It’s harder because you can feel guilty or judge yourself whenever you experience life from a place of reaction, overthinking, or fear.
You know how you want to be or feel, but that embodiment feels so far away at times.
Usually when this happens, you hate feeling this way, shunning your shadow even more. This takes you into the densest places of your being, the most negative thoughts and feelings.
But the highest path through it all is to fully love yourself, even this part of you that is reactive and stuck in your head. Because even this part of you is divine. It is loved. Only you have to remember to love it.
There is no separation between the dark and light.
THIS JOURNEY IS NOT ABOUT CLEARING YOUR SHADOW, FOR THAT CARRIES AN ENERGY OF REJECTING IT.
IT IS ABOUT LOVING AND SEEING YOUR SHADOW AS PART OF THE WHOLE.
When you love your shadow and fully accept it, you bring it back into the light… remembering it is part of all that is, and all that you are. And this is what allows it to be alchemized.
THE EXTREMITIES OF THE SHADOW ARE THERE ONLY BECAUSE OF THE IMMENSITY OF YOUR LIGHT.
Without the dark, there is no light. And you are the light that illuminates all.
I’ve been writing a lot about the shadow because motherhood has initiated me into the such a polarity of light and shadow. Within hours, I can go from the purest bliss and joy to the depths of overwhelm and self-judgment. I have thoughts like, “I’m a bad mum… This is so hard,” that are not just thoughts. They come with such a ferocity of despair and anguish.
I have wanted to hide this part of myself — from others, from you, from myself… thinking I shouldn’t be this way.
“I thought I already healed this… I thought I was in a much more harmonious and trusting place in life before having a baby…” (Only because before, everything was easier to control and there was less to fear).
But I’m now realizing THIS is the deepest medicine, the next expansion: learning to not hide or shun the things I don’t want to see or feel in myself.
By opening my heart to more love with the birth of my son, I have had to face more of my shadow. This journey of ascension takes you to the furthest depths and extremes because it must ALL be seen and illuminated. It must all be loved.
No part of you can be separated anymore… especially the parts you hate to feel and see. All of it must be loved back into wholeness.
Our next online guided ceremony is coming up in less than 2 days!
See below for details!
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I'm so looking forward to reconnecting in this magical space! Cannot wait to see you there.
Sending you so much love,
Ashmi